TO REPAIR...

My soul... unbelieving because hurt,
My heart... softened and hardened,
My eyes, almost blind,
Mi skin, covered with wrinkles,
My hair, chronologically silvering,
My memories, unmercifully attacking me,
My longings, not letting me live today,
My breathlessness, my desires, my hunger, my thirst,
My poverty,
My uncertainty.

wonderwall
wanderwall
warmerwall
werewolf

WONDERWALL

And after all.... you're my wonderwall... (What on Earth is a wonderwall?)
I know who is my warmwall.

AIRPORT HUG

Now, this is the hug I needed. Winter, almost, already cold anyway. Clad in my red coat and my high-heel black boots I stood there among all the ther people like a small female Santa Claus waiting for him while my best friend was parking his car. He had very kindly offered to go with me to pick him up. The flight was coming on time, the date had been delayed for a very long time. Soon the voice announced the plane had landed. Excitement grew in me, I was jumping and clapping and terribly nervous, constantly asking Mau if I was looking good. "Great," he answered each five minutes whether I asked him or not.

He was terribly taller than I ever expected. Tired and sleepy he outstood among the crowd, his face moving back and forth looking for me. Our eyes met and instantly our smiles appeared. No more screen between us. We ran towards each other as in a corny Hollywood film. Then I stumbled... right on his arms. He carried me, flung me and hugged me, oh so tight. All that pent up passion was still repressed but could be felt, the hunger in his arms, the way he rubbed his face against mine like confirming I was there, he was there, together, finally. It felt like recovering a long lost friend, like a promise, like an oath, like having finally come home never to go again. Like arriving to where you belong. How many times I had pictured this encounter.

We stared at each other and could have easily got lost track of time hadn't Mau interrupted us with a slight cough asking if we had already collected his suitcase. He went to fetch it while I told Mau what he had lost while parking the car. Sean came back and Mau asked if we wanted to go and have something for dinner, but we both refused almost too hastily. We all laughed and Mau left us in front of my flat building.

THE HUG

He clung to me as to a wreckage board, to survive while he reached the closest piece of land. Never before had he hugged me like this, not even when we were together, not when no one's eyes were on us. It really took me by surprise. There, after three years and three hours, in front of everyone. I could feel his tenderness, his need... or was it mine? I only know I felt how my heart started beating again, I remembered how vulnerable I am, how much I need his hug, but not his, but his. I cried and went to sleep.