THE BEST AND THE WORST

Last year, my then young lover gave me a simply red card written in black ink saying, among other things "May next year be full of success and failure". It was a bit shocking for me reading someone wishing me failure so when I asked him what he meant or why he wished such a thing, he answered, "So you may learn and grow up." The year that started then, last year, was not easy, it was full of changes in my personality, I had to accept many things I was not exactly mad about. This year I had learned a lot, not everything, but enough to learn to be humble and continue expecting more successes and more failures. This year was stabler than last. I had not so many men jumping into my bed, not so many plans scattered all around. I focused on one man and on one plan. My plan was on finally finishing my thesis, so I quit my job and launched my new business, Briathar Language Group not as an extra income, but as THE income and it worked. I was able to support myself and my share of my daughter's, independence was huge and tasty. I had more time for my thesis, university and the General Hospital visits, and of course for my man. I don't know what is going to happen between Sean and me. We are stable, we take our time to share and even though there were critical moments, as he put it one day, "We still persevere." Influenza was decisive in my failures this year. Since then things started going down, although not immediately. The final coup was given when Liz and Alex decided to end their classes with me. I have not yet recovered from that stroke. However, I finished my thesis and started to plan on a masters on Creative Writing for next year in England, at East Anglia. Lately money has not been flowing exactly and my mother has been helping out of her own will. I have asked for help twice, but I have managed quite well on my own, I have learned the importance of things and not to strive fo futile stuff. Who am I kidding? I know that, as soon as I have money flowing again I will start spending as I used to, but maybe not. Who knows? Who cares? Life is unpredictable and that is what I have learned. I used to depend on controlling situations, but life and Sean have taught me otherwise.