THE BACKGROUND STORY

So far I've known quite a lot of adulterers really. I thought I had met only two, but actually I have dated two, I slept with another, my ex was another and even my father was another. So this gets interesting. When I decided to date the first one I was thinking on the experience, on the investigation, on the learning that was behind him and what could make me really fall for him. I didn't. Not for the first, but for the second. It's interesting because I was starting to weave a background net to explain their behavior, but realizing that there had been others made me question this. Not all their stories are the same... so far. Maybe I should still research into their hearts. There must be something.
Initially I had thought this was related to their mothers and fathers. At least sample 1 and 2 had similar stories in that sense. But, when I realized my father, my ex and my first one-night stand could also be considered study cases I was not so sure.
Let me lay my case.
There are five study cases:
father
daughter's father
one-night stander
sample 1
sample 2
Let's avoid names.
Based on mothers and fathers there must be something I ignore about my grandparents because there was a solid relationship. It was not exactly tender, they had their frictions, but they remained together till the end and my grandfather never betrayed my grandmother nor her him. There was no real mistreatment, just a lot of bullying from my grandfather and a lot of holding from my grandma. Mhm!
Daughter's father: Again his parents were a solid couple. As a matter of fact an exemplary one. The father there supported his wife through Alzheimer's until her death and although it was excruciating and he occasionally complained, he never thought about quitting and he looked after her tenderly. His wife was jealous and could be infuriating, there were plenty of anecdotes, but he was the most handsome man for her.
One-night stander let me see through his story through a couple of comments he dropped by when I wanted to see him for a second time. He rejected a second encounter with the argument that he couldn't be the man his father had been. He couldn't do to his children what his father had done to him and his siblings. He never mentioned his mother, he just had this deep rancour against his father. He also resented his wife. He had to stay with her because she "got pregnant". Like magic, I guess, spontaneously. I'm sure he was wearing a condom, he insisted in wearing one, but she was just mean. Aha. I am being sarcastic.
Sample 1 mentioned a father who used to hide in hotels with women other than his mother, more than once. Sample 1 once caught him and it was not nice, he talked about it in a funny-sad kind of voice. He loves his mother deeply, and she is terribly sick and now old. Still living with his father. He feels very deeply for her. He talks about her with all the tenderness he is capable of, and that is not much. He resents his wife, they don't have much of a relationship any more, in any level. That's what he says. That's what they always say.
Sample 2 is the one who has talked more about his past. Sample 1 and  One-night stander were sincere with me from moment 1. One-night stander had his children on his screen on his desk and he told me openly he was married. Sample 1 told me he was married and he only wanted to have sex with me. One-night stander happened and it was wild and passionate. Sample 1 was accepted after I carefully thought about the experience. It happened and even although it was not completely accomplished, it was pretty good. Sample 2 was more manipulative and a bit mean in all his charm. Sample 2 appeared out of the blue and after four dreamy dates he decided to confess he lived with someone and that he had a daughter. He seemed really sad. He was never mean about his wife, he was just visibly bored and he said he didn't plan to leave her because they had lived many things that attached them, he didn't promise me anything, he didn't offer me anything, he just wanted a relationship, he even said we could leave sex off, he said he was very happy with me, just chatting. It ached me to see his attitude. This is the first time I actually care for the wife. Sample 2 is more complex than the others. He has me hooked in many levels. His father left them for another family and it seems the off spring of both women even mingled. He hated his half-brothers and he punched them constantly. He witnessed a weakened mother who was left alone to struggle to make ends meet and raise three children. He had to work to study a career and he has succeeded, but he feels hatred for his father. He seems confused about what he wants. He doesn't want to brake anyone's heart, but I'm afraid he is just collecting hearts to brake, including his. It feels as if he is ready to flee any minute. He just wants to leave everything and start afresh somewhere new. Right now I'm not so sure he is so mean as I was when I started writing this. I must confess complexity is quite attractive for someone like me.